Footballers' Fugs

Alex Curran is, according to Wikipedia, an über-WAG -- meaning she, as the spouse of Liverpool's rather cute Steven Gerrard, is considered a Queen Bee of the wives and girlfriends of English footballers. And by that I mean soccer, which I am not clarifying because I think anyone out there does not realize this; rather, because whoever styled her for this photo shoot may have mistaken her as being involved with America's version of football:

[Photo: infdaily.com]

Many of our nation's linebackers would covet shoulder pads like those.

I think my favorite part of the photo, though, is the very FACT of it: that OK! magazine is pairing up with this woman to hawk a perfume. Have you ever read a tabloid and thought to yourself, "I would give any amount of money to smell like this publication's magic essence"? And what exactly would that smell like? Ink? Sex and drugs? Dirt, since that's what they're peddling?

Further, I'm unclear as to what her dress is doing in the front there -- it LOOKS, from this angle, as if it has formed a shelf onto which she can set the bottle of perfume when it becomes too heavy (or stow a football, or a baby, or a thermos full of cosmopolitans). It's like a built-in table. How handy would THAT be at cocktail parties? Maybe somebody should explore making this an actual party trend. Because sometimes you can't hold a drink AND eat your finger-food at the same time, and that is one of life's real tragedies that a dress-desk would ably address. Come on, Lagerfeld, let's get on this.